I shared one of those funny Facebook photos recently that said, “Madonna is 55, her boyfriend is 22. Tina Turner is 75, her boyfriend is 40. JLo is 40, her boyfriend is 26. Mariah Carey is 44, her husband is 32. Still single? Relax. Your boyfriend is not born yet!”
Who knew that as women over 50, we’d have so many options to choose from when it came to dating men? Believe it or not, lots of men want to date us — older men, men our age and even younger men are trying to catch our eye.
I must admit the latter, known as Cougar Dating, was a little hard for me to wrap my head around even as a Dating Coach. Yes, I’d dated men three to five years younger but it felt like men 10 to 20 years younger were living on a different planet.
Back when I was in my 40s, younger men would write me online all the time and I’d always say, “Are you looking for a mom?” They’d quickly tell me, “No way!” They just felt younger women were too high maintenance for them and had far too much drama in their lives.
I had to laugh at the high maintenance comment I heard time and time again from these young men. They just had no idea what it took to look good at 50. Hair alone can be a full time job, whether its plucking it from places you never knew hair could grow or coloring it constantly just to hide the grey.
As women over 50, most of us are not willing to head over to the local Steak and Shake for a date. No, we want to be wined and dined at nice restaurants, and for some of us only the best will do.
Our high maintenance ways were just hidden from these young men since they don’t live with their mommies anymore. Somehow, they’ve created this great fantasy of who they think we are, and that is what they want to experience.
I’ll be the first to admit it feels fantastic when a younger man asks you out. He’s probably surrounded by young women with their smooth complexions and youthful glow on a daily basis. Yet here he is, willing to skip out on younger, toned bodies because he thinks we’re cool, calm and low maintenance even with wrinkles around our eyes. Imagine that.
More recently, I bumped into this gorgeous late 30s or early 40s young man who was a cross between Hugh Laurie and George Clooney. We sat down and started talking and laughing.
The next thing I knew, he was asking me out. I was momentarily stunned. This handsome young stud wanted a date with me? He could have had the pick of the litter his own age and even younger, yet he was asking me, a 50+ year old woman, on a date?
I wanted to burst out laughing! Instead, I played the game and flirted with him, while having a charming afternoon being courted by a young handsome man. In the end, I did not go out with him. As much chemistry as we had, I actually found it hard to relate to a lot of what he was saying, but that afternoon was fun and he sure did make me feel good!
As great as it is for the ego, a younger man is in a totally different stage of his life. He might be just getting his career going or have minor children at home from a previous marriage.
He grew up at a different time too. All of those shared experiences Baby Boomers have in our collective memories happened when he was too young to remember — or wasn’t even born yet!
You may find that a man closer to your age is a better fit as someone you want to share your life with. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun trying the cougar thing for a change.
What is so great about dating a younger man is that it makes you think outside the box when it comes to available men. Most women feel like there are no good men out there to date.
The truth is there are plenty of quality men available. You just aren’t giving them a chance! By dating a man younger than you are, you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone. If you are willing to try different ages, body types, careers, and backgrounds, you just might realize that there is a plethora of good guys out there waiting for you.
Have you tried cougar dating? Tell us in the comments.
Lisa Copeland is the Dating Coach who makes over 50’s dating fun and easy. Find out more about how to meet men over 50 in her report, “5 Little Known Secrets To Finding A Quality Man.”